No household is complete without the presence of a frozen pizza stuffed deep between the ice cream and the Hot Pockets in the garage freezer.
Pizzas offer all the nutrients required in a standard meal, placed on a convenient and delicious baked crust. Frozen pizzas, in particular, are a unique specialty, because they bring the charm and flavor of one of the big-box pizza stores to the convenience and comfort of a person’s home.
Nothing says “Saturday Night In” like a box of DiGiorno’s and a $3 bottle of chardonnay, with Gilmore Girls reruns flashing in the background. However, in the rare event that a person would like to serve more than themselves on one of these occasions, it is useful to know some varying methods on how to cut a frozen pizza.
There are several techniques that you can use when it comes to cutting a frozen pizza, and a multitude of cutting patterns available for the truly creative carver, but this article will cover the basics to get you started. So, let's see how to cut a frozen pizza the correct way.
Cutting a Frozen Pizza While Still Frozen
A pizza can be cut while it is still frozen. The benefits of this method would be being able to cook individual portions one-at-a-time and being able to save other pieces for a later meal. This may be a suitable option for stay-in diners who seek to satisfy their comfort-food craving but also want their silhouette to stay slender.
However, for pizza eaters who want a fully immersive pizza-eating experience, this method just proves to be annoying.
A meat cleaver or other heavy knife is recommended for cutting through a frozen pizza, since the dish will still be very hard. Just place the pizza on a cutting board, channel your inner “Chris Pine chopping wood” energy, and hack away.
Be forewarned: This is an advanced cutting technique and should not be employed by those who realize and fear the consequences of swinging too hard and accidentally chopping the counter.
How to Cut a Frozen Pizza After Cooking
For you readers who are more conservative in your pizza-eating and serving methods, the most viable option would be to cut the pizza once it has been cooked. This can be done with a traditional chef’s knife, a smaller knife or a pizza cutter that rolls.
Place the pizza on a cutting board or other knife-proof surface and cut in the pattern that fits your crowd best. Depending on the number of people being served and the particularity of the crowd, you might want to play it safe or go wild with your pattern of choice.
A traditional eight-slice cut for a pizza is expected from a frozen pizza. To complete this cut, first cut two lines all the way across, crossing in the middle, splitting the pizza into four even quarters. Then split each quarter in half with two more lines across the diameter of the pizza, equidistant from each other and directly in the middle between the first two lines. For a traditionalist, this cut is the best fit for a party of two to three people.
Another traditional pattern for pizza-cutting is a square cut. Begin in the same way, cutting two lines across the pizza crossing in the middle to create four equal quarters. Then, cut two or three more lines on either side of the beginning lines parallel to these beginning lines, creating a lattice of lines across the face of the pizza. This traditional cut will serve four to six people, appetizer-style.
Other patterns include a spiral, starting from the outside edge and working inwards to create a continuous line of pizza, for a single eater. Some bold hosts will have their guests cut their own slices in any pattern they choose. This can lead to unequal sizing of slices, so beware if you have hangry (people who get angry when hungry) or feisty guests when choosing this method.
The final and most chaotic method of cutting a frozen pizza is to not cut the pizza at all, and simply tearing the pizza apart bit-by-bit by hand and handing rough chunks to your guests. This is not recommended.
Whether you are serving a whole crowd of people, or just one lonely Netflix watcher, a frozen pizza is suitable, and a firm favorite, for people of all ages and all types of diners. The cut and method of the pizza is left up to the chef, who can choose whichever style suits their fancy.